What happens when the tranquility of a weekend morning clashes with the chaos of getting a family, especially one with disabilities, ready for church? Join me, Tracy Corll, as I share a personal journey through the Sunday morning challenges that many families face. From wrestling with ADHD and sensory sensitivities to overcoming the physical barriers that come with disabilities, we explore the intricate dance of morning routines, wardrobe battles, and social anxieties that can make Sundays feel like a battleground rather than a sanctuary.
Together, we'll tackle the critical need for inclusivity within church environments, discussing practical solutions that can transform church experiences for families with disabilities. Discover how sensory tools, visual schedules, and enhanced physical accessibility can create a welcoming and accommodating space for all to grow in faith. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to reimagine how we approach community and accessibility, aiming to make every family feel embraced and valued in their spiritual journey. Join the conversation as we strive for improvement, ensuring that church is a place of peace and inclusion for everyone.
Hi, my name is Tracy Correll and welcome to Indispensable People. I'm a wife, mom, teacher, pastor and missionary, and I believe that every person should have the opportunity to know Christ, grow in Him and serve Him with the gifts that he has given, no matter their ability. Over 65 million Americans have a disability. That's 25% of the population. However, over 80% of them are not inside the walls of our church. Let's dive into those hard topics biblical foundations, perceptions and world-changing ideas. Hey, hey, and welcome to today's episode. We're talking about the Sunday morning struggle.
Speaker 1:
I've been a mom for over 19 years, which means for 19 years I've been experiencing the Sunday morning struggle with my kids trying to get everybody ready, everybody up, everybody dressed, looking decent. I always try to tell them, especially now that they're older and get themselves ready. Our goal is to not look like a homeless family. So I really work hard and have worked hard in the past years to try to get my family up, ready and to be on time. I am not a late person. I like to be on time. My husband likes to be awkwardly early, but because we serve in ministry, we're always there early, no matter what, because there are things to do. So what does that mean and how does that look when we consider families with disabilities? And I can tell you from personal experience that by the time I would get out of my house especially when my kids were little I would feel like I had already been in a battle. I remember teaching and in a school that was my job, and when I would get there, all of my kids went to that school, and so not only was I with them at home getting them ready, but then drove to school with them, got in the building, they had to hang out in my room till they got in the classroom and by the time they went on to their teachers I had felt like I had lived a whole day.
Speaker 1:
And I don't know about you, but whatever reason, we all know the reason. There's spiritual background, right that Sunday mornings are so very difficult and seemingly harder than any other day. Now I'll tell you my husband works 12-hour night shifts and a lot of times he will push through, push through, push through and even have extra days that he is responsible for working mandatory overtime, and it seems like on that last day all the defenses are down and his body can finally go. Ok, I don't have this responsibility anymore. Let's shut down, turn off. We're not firing on all the cylinders, and I think sometimes that's what a weekend does to us, right? We go, go, go all week long, and then by the time we hit the weekend, we're ready for a rest. And so we have this false sense of security that Sunday mornings, when we get up for church, that we have this time or piece of rest, and so it becomes more difficult to get up.
Speaker 1:
But that consideration of individuals with disabilities living in the household adds other layers to it, and I can tell you, I have two boys with ADHD, both who take medicine. We waited till way later in life to do all of that, but a lot of times, until their medicine kicks in, chaos ensues, and so instructions have to happen, repeat instructions have to happen, follow-up has to occur, checking in with them multiple times. Just pure chaos and the impulses of what they can do to one another during that time, because they are not filtering their thoughts and their actions as well as they should be becomes all kinds of things well as they should be, becomes all kinds of things. And that's just the types of struggles that we deal with as a family. Add to that the sensory sensitivities that my son has, which include the type of clothing that he would wear on a Sunday. Listen, if he has his choice, he's going to wear a soft pair of sweatpants and a soft t-shirt every day of his life. He doesn't like scratchy, itchy, stiff clothes and he also has issues with getting overheated. So all of those things play into the type of clothing that he's going to wear on a Sunday morning.
Speaker 1:
Now, granted, we are not a super dress up kind of family for church. We go somewhat casual to church. I mean, we're not wearing shorts and T-shirts in the summer, but we are wearing, like, just khakis and T-shirts, and the boys, on occasion, will wear flannel in the winter or something like that. My daughter, you know, ranges from all kinds of things, so the change in clothing on a Sunday morning creates an issue. Then you add to it the social anxiety that my son feels on a daily basis is increased, knowing he's going to church and that people will be interacting with him. So all of those kinds of things bottled up into one day, getting out of the house, anticipating what is to come. We've already hit the battlefield before we've stepped into the car. And that's just my family.
Speaker 1:
You can think about other families who may have physical challenges to overcome, where that parent may have to feed and dress a whole other person, including themselves, before they can get out the door in the morning. And it's not just hey, everybody, let's run out to the car and get in. There might be ramps and loading that has to happen, a special vehicle that is used to provide for that. There are all kinds of things to consider in that respect, all of which take extra time, so that consideration of you know a Sunday morning sleep in doesn't necessarily happen. It's requiring the same things as if you are getting up for work and preparing the kids to go off to school, and this can happen from any age range. Add to that whether it's an intellectual disability where understanding and explanations happen, or it is more sensory sensitivities that occur, the anxieties that fill that I had mentioned, like with my son.
Speaker 1:
There's all kinds of pieces and parts that make the Sunday morning a struggle. In a blog written by Different by Design Learning is an article titled when Church Hurts, why Families Struggle on Sundays, and this mom says no one tells you that church and sensory issues are like oil and water. They don't mention it in the Old Testament or when you get the diagnosis, or even in the books that talk about what to expect. And later she said for my son, the sensory experience of going to church is something similar to torture. And she says I wish I was exaggerating to make a point.
Speaker 1:
This mom goes on to say, no matter what he chooses, when church is over, he is exhausted and anxious. He makes his way back through the crowded lobby and smells and the people touching him and the kids playing. And then he hears me say we should go out to lunch, knowing this means more smells, clanging kitchen noises, the constant buzz of conversation at tables and horribly loud music they play in the background. He panics and the meltdown begins. And the mom says this every single Sunday. So, okay, how do we consider this when we're talking about special needs ministry?
Speaker 1:
Well, there are things that we can do in the church to make families feel more welcomed, more at ease, having expectations, predictability, all of that kind of stuff to help these families. We will not be able to perfect every piece and part of this because, if it's like my son, his preference is to be at home, and home where there is quiet, where he has his own private space in his bedroom where there aren't people that he is unfamiliar with talking to him or touching him or hugging him or shaking his hand. There isn't occasions where he has to interact in uncomfortable ways and asked to interact with information and Bible stuff that maybe he struggles to understand. So what can we do? Here are some tangible things as the church that we can reach into families and be able to be a support to them.
Speaker 1:
One we can consider the entry into the church. For example, we have a little girl that attends our church and upon entry to the church it is just overwhelming. Coming into a lobby filled with people talking and noises and all of that kind of stuff is overwhelming to her. So we offer an alternative entrance and in that alternative entrance there's no one else in the room except for her buddies, and those buddies support her upon entry, and even so much so that whenever she enters in the room we also have a pop-up sensory tent that she can scoot in and hide and feel comfortable when she first arrives.
Speaker 1:
Another option is providing a buddy bag upon check-in, especially for kids. This can also be available at the Welcome Center for youth or adults. In this bag can be sensory tools, noise-canceling headphones and other tools to help access the Bible, the services and interact with people throughout the morning. Those are just two, but then we can consider what happens in the spaces, whether it's Sunday school, children's church or another class here or there, or a meeting that happens before or after church. We can provide alternative ways to receive information. We can help with visual schedules so that the area and experience is predictable. We can also provide breaks and outlets through a buddy system where people, if they need to leave the space, can have a break, whether it's in a sensory room or just a quiet space or a walk in the hallway. Those are all really great opportunities to serve the family and meet the needs of the individual impacted by disability Because, let's be honest, this has a domino effect, right?
Speaker 1:
First of all, this article that I shared with you ends with the family choosing not to attend church anymore. That is a huge impact upon the family in multiple ways. We want to make sure that the family can attend and, if we can prepare the sensory needs, where we can prepare for educational, learning, spiritual needs, and we can make sure that our buildings are physically accessible for people to come inside and feel comfortable and maneuver and get from place to place in a way that isn't a burden upon them. We can make sure the family feels welcomed inside the church, but not only that when they're there, they can have full participation in the total life of the church by being able to have those alternative spaces, ways to learn and be discipled, and also to make way for the release or break from those sensory experiences that may become overwhelming.
Speaker 1:
In the end, we want the family to be able to be welcomed and, whenever they leave the church, be refreshed and not overwhelmed, feeling as though they have already fought multiple battles by the time they go home. Why? Because if the battle is too big, it is likely they will not return, and if they don't return, then we lose the opportunity to share the gospel and make Jesus known among all of his creation. Do I know everything about disability ministry? Do I have all the answers? Have I done everything perfectly? I have absolutely not, but we are going to continue this conversation so that people of all abilities can have the opportunity to know Christ, grow in Him and serve Him with the gifts that he has given them.
